How many times have you written or read a line similar this?
I can fix that, she thought to herself.
Do you know what’s wrong with that sentence?
If she’s thinking a thought, there is no need to add to herself. When we think, no one can know our thoughts. No one else is in our heads. So, to add to herself is redundant. Better ways to write a character’s thoughts are available.
She knew she could fix that.
In the scene:
She saw the car leaned slightly, walked around it and saw a tire was flat. She knew she could fix that.
In 1st Person:
I can fix that.
In the scene, the protagonist sees the problem, then has her thought.
I saw the car leaned slightly and walked around it and found a flat tire. I can fix that.
In the 1st Person scene, the reader is in the protagonist’s head seeing what she sees. Her thought is set separately in italics.
Until writers learn the many little rules of grammar, we tend to write the way we speak. This can be both a hindrance and a blessing. First, it’s a blessing for the narrator. Understanding nuances of language and its colloquialisms helps to establish great dialogue. It can also solidify the voice of the story narrator in all those story sentences that set the scene for the dialogue to happen.
Lack of proper use of grammar can be a hindrance when submitting your manuscript to the best and most favorite literary agent of your choice as you seek representation. Though most rejections don’t spell out why the work is being rejected, as a former editor, most of the stories I read were fraught with grammar errors.
Grammar errors are not just about using the wrong word or tense. Grammar on the written page includes how sentences are set up and how thoughts are conveyed in those sentences.
If you intend a writing career for yourself, you must learn all the fine details that will perfect your writing ability. When these are understood, your writing will flow, with no niggling thoughts hoping you got it right this time.