As most of you have read in my blog, I have been caregiver for my partner of 31 years who passed away. From that, I experienced the deepest grief of my life, needing help from a counselor. Grief is not something we choose or can push away. It simply happens to us and how we deal with it determines how we live the rest of our lives. From the intense and restorative counseling I received, I have turned this knowledge into a book of instructive essays and impassioned poetry. All of this poured out of my mind as I experienced this heartache.
This book is not for the squeamish. I pour out my soul, so that others may understand that the confusion they may be experiencing is not unlike any other person’s grief. We simply move through it in our own very personal ways.
The only way to take grief out of death
is to take love out of the world.
~ Russell M. Nelson
The Synopsis
After losing her long-term partner, through poetry and essay, the author shares the turmoil and often-times bewildering depths of her grief.
This memoir exposes the spectrum of emotions with which those suffering loss will become familiar or already experience. The author holds back nothing of her odyssey of despair. Her experiences and much she has learned to help herself provides other survivors a chance to see that they are not alone. Though everyone’s grief is different, still all grief is surprisingly similar in its basis. Hope is found in familiarity with another’s grief and no one should endure the bereavement process alone.
Following the author’s progression through relentless sorrow and finally redemption lets others know there is validation for their emotional suffering. An easing of the pain occurs as the memory of loss takes its place among all other memories of the life shared with departed loved ones. This memoir offers helpful advice for survivors who endure their grief till the puzzle of life meshes back together again in a new pattern.
Another Poem from the Book
When The Time Came
You nor I wanted to be kept alive on life support
I didn’t know if I had the courage to end your life
When the time came
I watched you weaken, no longer functioning
quietly slipping into a coma
When the time came
The doctor said your condition was irreversible
gave you two, three days at most to live
When the time came
It was now my decision to stop monitoring you
let you go peacefully since you weren’t in pain
When the time came
I summoned my strength to follow your wishes
told the doctor to end all monitoring
When the time came
I carried out my promise because I love you
But found no satisfaction in pseudo-courage
When the time came
A Little About Me
All through my life, like anyone else, I faced adversity head on. I could get through anything and make the best of it. However, I was not prepared, had no idea, how this loss would affect me. I have lost many dear ones during my lifetime and ended up being the caregiver for others suffering the loss along with me. Perhaps I never had time to grieve in those instances. I was unprepared this time. In the beginning I knew I would weather the changes. How naïve I was! After half a year of slowly recovering emotionally, I began this book to let others know there is help to get them through their grief. My hope is that the help this book offers reaches many many people.
This has been a great lesson about health and personal care, and the need for more research in various forms of cancer, all cancer, really. It is my intention to donate a portion of my Net proceeds of the first year of sales to The American Cancer Society – Renal Research.
Find the Book Here
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oh mary, I’m so sorry to hear this. I had no idea. my thoughts and prayers are with you.
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It’s been a long road to get where I am today, and still not normal, but moving on.
A difficult journey, and I hope writing this book has been helpful. Xoxo
Thank you, James, and for checking in too. Writing this book has been cathartic for me. Now I want to sell many copies so I can donate a bit of profit to the American Cancer Society in Ron’s name.